King James – lebron needs new! How about his tour? Now going national tv to announce!  I can’t decide if today’s athlete wants more of the bling bling or the big championship ring.  Even though his nickname is the king – I believe he just wants to be part of the court – calling his boys to decide, being a locker room guy, he is too good of a guy professionally;  do you think mj or kobe would of done this – they would of just decided and said follow me I will take you to the promise land – those two are or were the real kings of the nba – they didn’t want to be one of the guys – they wanted to be the guy – and I’m not sure if that is taught – which lebron says he learned from kobe at the Olympics.

I want lebron to get his on the court and off the court – and as much as I would love to see him stay in Cleveland and prove me wrong – I think he needs a change of players (and not multiple all stars) to hold that Lawrence O’Brien trophy.  He needs a team where his teammates have the talent but also fear him and want to please him (which is part of kobe-my mystique). Let the real king stand up on the court, because once he gets one he will get multiple. YO YO

Talk to me about the 4^th of july —- I need old school celebration of independence day.  Give me the professional fireworks show, a few high fives, and then let me set a few sparklers out for the kids and everybody is happy. I don’t need sparklers in my hood – I need new sprinklers so my house doesn’t go up in flames with all the shit or fireworks my neighborhood sets off ( I’m right in the thick of it and fascinated by it)– it looks like Beirut at the end of the night not the yankee doodle dandy.  I swear every block is trying to out do the other block – oh that is the American way. 

On the celebration note – why does celebration get so out of hand – fans turning over cars and setting the streets on fire in victory or getting a glimpse of their idol (I never see the losing team blow up their own city) – Is it that fucking emotional that we can’t keep it in check and have fun with it?

I’m taking it deep and I’m a surface guy  — get me back to “it’s a celebration” – where is kool and the gang when I need them or do they only come out on new years day.  It’s all good –   enjoy 234 america – O T U

At lunch today at Lemon Grass in Portland Oregon (got to give it huge plug – come to Portland, and greatest Thai ever – you can even treat me), and I get in a discussion with a huge Oregon Duck fan – so I pose our question to the court – that would be you the people — I hope the east coast weighs in. When you think of  the university of oregon’s football program – who do you compare it too?  The only thing you have to put in your answer is what state you are from and if your alumni.  Back to me – other than the state of Oregon I view it as a Virginia Tech, a Purdue or Maryland. Am I wrong? Off the cusp. Do you think of them as a top 10 program? Do you know more about their athletics or their biggest booster?  Bring on my stupidity –

yo yo big H

NBA Finals – coming clean – I am a kobe lover. Love the Celts individually, but not as a unit, makes no sense but neither do I.  Okay got that out of the way – another thing – I am a front runner – can only watch the games if they are a blowout – if it is tight I’m on the computer for updates. They say Jerry West is the same way: only can watch blowouts – I keep good company. On that front runner comment – can’t get enough postgame on wins – TV goes off until the next game on losses – Is this normal?– Is this a true fan or a loser who can’t take it for what it is? – amazing athletes competing? – To comfort this issue I turn to CB (Charles Barkley to you) “ I hate to lose more than I love to win.” I could talk about the players shoes in the finals, but I will give you that knowledge in due time. So my final thought on the NBA finals is this: people can say whatever they want about NBA refereeing, but in a playoff series the best team wins – period

YO YO-Big H

I need new diet – My wife has offered me 200 dollars the last 15 years if I can take off 20 pounds – do you think I can even sniff it? Hell no I don’t have the discipline. After I wash down lunch with a few Hersey’s and a Ding Dong. Every Monday I tell myself this is the first day of the rest of your life – then it is Tuesday and I’m like I will start next Monday. I go to the gym – and I say — worked out in January so now I can take 11 months off. It cant be that hard – why can’t I do it – what holds me back – do you think I want to be the guy with the cholesterol over 300 – maybe! It is called sacrifice and I sure don’t know the meaning. Comfort food – it might not be good for the heart but its just fine with my mind.

YO YO

Big H

Restaurants. Served up Beedelitch!

The daily chores of life. The kids are home and the summertime drama requires a frequent wardrobe change.  How does a man handle the resulting increase in laundry volume? Listen up & learn, beeatch.

You know what time it is – it’s summertime-summertime. This is where parents earn their paycheck, if there was a paycheck.  I become camp counselor Big H or as my wife says “it’s called parenting.” Summer has three categories: no plan days, camp days, and grandparents day. Here we are – day 1 and off we go – all I’m thinking is kids please sleep in until noon so I get some quality couch time – boom, 9 am, the kids are up and I’m already in trouble.  I justify having my kids play 3 hours of electronics for a morning activity because I read a Rick Reilly article where he was at an electronic convention and kids were getting paid big bucks for endorsing the product, so my kids are doing an internship, beginners college credit.

Now it is the afternoon hour – I’m thinking community pool – bang, the phone rings and another parent is asking for a play date. Do I reverse psychology the parent and take his kid so I’m leading on the scoreboard (then I have a favor later in the summer) or could I already use a mental health day from my kids?  Send the kids on the way. I’ve got Oprah at 4. 

Later, my kids get dropped off and I’m panicking for dinner.  How long is it before bed?  Okay, old reliable – hot dogs and mac & cheese. Dinner isn’t that bad – we actually communicate – compare a good and bad thing of the day. 7 minutes later, the kids are outside playing with the neighbors. I actually feel left out this time, so I challenge the kids to some 3 on 3 hoops. I feel like I have game until my neighbor reminds me I’m playing against an 11 and 8 year-old. Fuck him… Kids, let’s go to Baskin and Robin and do this again tomorrow. Be there. Feel the experience.  I only have three more months of winging it. Love those camp and grandparent weeks. Entertain me, give me some stories, or more importantly some advice.

Yo-yo…

Big H

Look out for Big H.  He’s got opinions on just about everything, from politics, to shoes, to sports, to the smart-ass looks he gets from the punk manning the cash register at the supermarket.  In the end, it’s all about “I need new,” because to him, it’s all old shit.

Oh, there will be video.